Another Christmas Without You

  Well, here we are again one day away from Christmas, and I don't feel much in the Christmas spirit.
This has been the norm since my parents passed away, the Christmas season just isn't the same when there are people missing from the festivities. A few fewer places to set at the table, a few fewer presents under the tree, a few fewer voices in the hustle and bustle of the festivities.
 
  But even in my sadness, there is joy knowing that they are in the presence of Jesus and no longer suffering, and I eagerly await the day that I can join them, and hug them and tell them I love them once again.
 
  So, until I see you again, Mom and Dad, Merry Christmas in Heaven. I miss, and love you very much.

Being Grateful

  Today as I was watching a video explaining how to make it easier for wheelchair users to do transfers from their wheelchairs to different places, i.e, bathtub, I realized again how blessed I am to have the mobility that I have. Many people with Spina Bifida are completely paralyzed from the waist down, some even from the chest down.

  I have some feeling and quite a bit of movement in my legs, and I can bare weight in order to do my transfers. I may fall more often than I used to, but all in all, I'm really independent.

  There are many people in this world who are much worse off than I am with their health, and if it isn't health, there are other ways people are worse off than me.

  So, I guess the moral of this story is, be thankful for what you have.

  Have you ever had a moment where you realized, "Hey, my life isn't as bad as I often think it is."?

Why Me Lord?

Hey guys, sorry I haven't blogged in such a long time. I just ran out of things to blog about. I'm still getting the hang of blogging, and what I should focus on blogging about. Anyway, I recently wrote another poem, and I thought I would share it with anyone who reads my blog posts. Here it is.

Why Me, Lord?

Why me, Lord?

What did I ever do?

To deserve Your mercy

To be given Your Grace.

You know what I've done

Every single detail

Yet You love me anyway.

Why me, Lord?

I can never repay You

Never thank You enough

For saving my wretched soul

For making me whole.

So I'll spend the rest of my life

Doing Your will as best I can

Until the day I see Your face

In that bright Glory Land

For it is then

In the presence of my Saviour

That my eyes will be opened

To the fullness of Your love.

Another poem might be in the works soon, so stay tuned. In the meantime, let me know what you think about this last poem.

Look At Me

Look At Me

 

When you look at me, what do you see?

Just someone in a wheelchair?

Someone with a broken body?

Look at me.

 

I'm a woman

I'm a daughter

I'm a sister

I'm an aunt

Look at me.

 

I have emotions.

I laugh

I cry

I scream

Look at me.

 

I see you.

I know you're curious

I know you have questions

You avert your eyes so I won't notice the stares

Look at me.

 

I want to get to know you

I want to be your friend

We were all created by one God

Don't ignore me.

Look at me



When Will It Be My Turn?

   Lately I've been struggling with my singlehood more than I have in years. I have many friends who I am close with or have been close with in the past, who have already gotten married, or are soon going to be married. I'm not jealous of them or anything, but I just wish I had a special someone in my life right now. I'm trying to be patient, but it's really hard. Having loved someone, but not really praying about the relationship has lead to broken hearts which I really regret. I find myself wondering often, nearly every day to be honest, "when will it be my turn?" I even started doubting whether or not God has a specific person planned for me. I know He wants the very best for me, so that must include relationships, right? I still don't know the answer to that question, so I guess all there is to do is trust God with my future. He's already there, working things out for my and my future husband's best.

As always, you can comment if you'd like.

Life Without Mom & Dad

Life Without Mom & Dad

   Losing my mom, first of all, was the most terrifying and difficult thing I've ever gone through. I not only lost my mom that night, but I lost my best friend, the person I could share my deepest most personal thoughts with.
   I dealt with extremely vivid nightmares for that entire first year. In those dreams I would be with my parents, but the me in the dreams would always know that one or the other would be gone by the end of the dream, or just reliving every detail of the night my mom passed away. It took a lot of prayer from both me and my friends and family for those dreams to stop, and they did for the most part. Occasionally I'll still have them.
    I wasn't on the best terms with my dad for a while before he passed away. He had suffered a stroke I think 7 years prior to his passing, and it was difficult for me to see him in the same way I saw him before he had the stroke. I'm sad and ashamed to say I was not a good daughter to him a lot of times after that, and if I had it all to do over again, I'd try to do a whole lot better. I think it took me a whole year before I could actually grieve his loss.
   These days, I sometimes think of all the moments my siblings were able to share with my parents that I never will. My parents were there for each of their weddings and to see most of their children. They won't be there for my wedding or the birth of my children, and that really makes me sad. I try not to dwell on it, though, because the Lord knows best. He says in His Word, the Bible, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. -2 Corinthians 12:9 (KJV) and He has proven that over and over again.
  God has blessed me with an amazing family who have always been there to help and support me. Sometimes that help and support was in the form of tough love, but everyone needs that sometimes.
  For anyone who has lost one or both of their parents, how did it make you feel? Please feel free to comment.

Introduction

   Let Me Introduce Myself

    Hey, everybody! I just started my very first blog. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing yet, so I guess I'll just start with telling you a little bit about myself.
    My name is Lisa Neufeld and I am 26 years old. I am the youngest of 7 children: 4 sisters and 2 brothers. I also have 25 amazingly wonderful, lovable nieces and nephews; 12 nieces and 13 nephews, to be exact.
    I was born with a condition called Spina Bifida. Which is a congenital defect of the spine in which part of the spinal cord and its meninges are exposed through a gap in the backbone. It often causes paralysis of the lower limbs, and sometimes mental handicap (which I don't have). I also have hydrocephalus, also known as water on the brain, and when I was a few days old, I think, Surgeons had to insert a shunt into my head to guide the extra cerebral spinal fluid to my stomach. I had surgery to close the opening in my back when I was just a day old. Since then I've had several surgeries to help me get the best chance at life. :)
    My wonderful parents have both gone Home to be with the Lord a few years ago now. My mom passed away March 28th 2011 and my dad passed away August 12, 2013. Life has surely been difficult without their guidance, but I've learned to rely on the Lord more for everything. I've struggled with my faith as well since they've passed, mainly because of stupid decisions I've made that I thought I'd never make.
    Anyway, on with my story. I moved out on my own for the first time in December of last year. Again, it was a test of my faith, and God has been more than faithful, as always, with supplying all my needs.
    My hobbies/passions include listening to music, I do that all day, every day; and photography. I'll post pictures that I've taken as time goes on. I'm hoping to get more clients for my photography business, but it's slow going.
    Wow! I think that's all for now, so until next time, may the Lord be with you and bless you above and beyond what you ever thought possible.