Life Without Mom & Dad

Life Without Mom & Dad

   Losing my mom, first of all, was the most terrifying and difficult thing I've ever gone through. I not only lost my mom that night, but I lost my best friend, the person I could share my deepest most personal thoughts with.
   I dealt with extremely vivid nightmares for that entire first year. In those dreams I would be with my parents, but the me in the dreams would always know that one or the other would be gone by the end of the dream, or just reliving every detail of the night my mom passed away. It took a lot of prayer from both me and my friends and family for those dreams to stop, and they did for the most part. Occasionally I'll still have them.
    I wasn't on the best terms with my dad for a while before he passed away. He had suffered a stroke I think 7 years prior to his passing, and it was difficult for me to see him in the same way I saw him before he had the stroke. I'm sad and ashamed to say I was not a good daughter to him a lot of times after that, and if I had it all to do over again, I'd try to do a whole lot better. I think it took me a whole year before I could actually grieve his loss.
   These days, I sometimes think of all the moments my siblings were able to share with my parents that I never will. My parents were there for each of their weddings and to see most of their children. They won't be there for my wedding or the birth of my children, and that really makes me sad. I try not to dwell on it, though, because the Lord knows best. He says in His Word, the Bible, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. -2 Corinthians 12:9 (KJV) and He has proven that over and over again.
  God has blessed me with an amazing family who have always been there to help and support me. Sometimes that help and support was in the form of tough love, but everyone needs that sometimes.
  For anyone who has lost one or both of their parents, how did it make you feel? Please feel free to comment.